Nice job. I haven't read your translation yet to be honest, but going over it quickly, I saw you really did translate everything.
I planned on translating it once, back when I was working with S2Scans, but the perfectionist part of me didn't want to get any historical fact wrong, while the lazy part of me didn't want to go look back at history books I've already read a long time ago.
When I'll finally go over those history books again, I might come back here and point out everything this oneshot got right or wrong, what it left out, and so on. If you don't mind me. I'm a hopeless history nerd when I get at it.